Once the thought crosses your mind that you’d like to grow grapes and maybe make your own wine, an obsession takes hold.
Before you know it you’re studying viticulture and oenology, abandoning old hobbies, and turning into the type of mono-topic conversationalist that people try to avoid at dinner parties.
But it’s worth it, because now you know which grapes grow where, how to make sure they thrive, and how to transform that sweet, sweet nectar into wine that – you’re absolutely convinced – will be recognised world-wide as the best of its type anywhere.
So you buy land on the Mornington Peninsula (naturally), plant a few hectares of Chardonnay, Pinot Noir and Pinot Gris (of course) and start building a trophy cabinet.
Then you wait. Because despite ample sunlight and perfect soil, regular watering, careful pruning, encouraging words and even the occasional song, it takes about three years for the vines to start producing fruit in any useful quantity.
And that’s why the first sip from your first vintage is such a transcendental experience. It was for us, anyway.
You need the right type of soil to grow productive vines. You need a certain level of skill to turn grapes into delicious wine. And you need an enormous amount of self-control not to drink the lot yourself.
